How do we balance life’s paradoxes?
The term “paradox” has always fascinated me. I would call myself a logical person, but at the same time I don’t like linearity. This sounds like a paradox in itself, doesn’t it?
For me, paradoxes are proof of life’s in-depth, exciting, non-linearity. Most may seem contradictory on the surface, but when you change your perspective and look a bit deeper, you start to uncover the power of paradoxes.
However stimulating this topic was for me, I will admit that it was not until this year that I experienced the significance of such paradoxes while working from home.
Like many of us, I had a hard time working from home in 2020. Staring at the screen the whole day, participating in back-to-back online meetings, the non-stop ringing and buzzing of the phone, not to mention the usual household chores to do… Life could easily become tiring, colorless, and mundane.
Thanks to the paradoxes below, I managed to break through the dullness. If you use them to your benefit, your home life can improve drastically.
The trick is to give yourself permission.
#1: The Sophistication of Simplicity
The more choices we have, the harder it is to commit to one. This also applies while working from home.I find that it is always better to look at life in its most simplistic form.
If you are working from home, that means you are doing everything from home: working, resting,exercising, cooking, cleaning, handling critical projects, attending meetings, socializing… and the list goes on.,This list is already rather packed, isn’t it?
Let’s try simplifying things for ourselves a bit. Some ideas that helped me are:
Creating a simple and spacious workplace at home.
All you need is your computer, some pens, and maybe a notebook. Don’t surround yourself with things you don’t need — that means getting rid of unnecessary papers, files, books, etc.
Having a simple but healthy routine.
Try starting your morning with some exercise and a simple but nutritious breakfast, and finish the day off with an easy dinner and some light reading before going to bed.
Doing online grocery shopping from one location
This has made shopping for groceries convenient and simple. I know exactly what to buy, how much to order, and how to navigate the web page. At this point I’ve become so used to this process that it only takes a couple of minutes for me to place an order.
Preparing simple meals.
At first, I was enthusiastic about cooking fancy meals. During lockdown, it was my very first time feeling like I was in ‘my kitchen’ so I felt as if I should properly take advantage of it. But for me, this only led to a feeling of burnout. Instead, I decided to opt for simple menus rather than preparing some extravagant dish that will just make me exhausted.
Communicating virtually.
Communicating through a screen can be incredibly difficult. Without being face to face with somebody, you cannot truly feel the energy in the air or observe a person’s body language. So it’s important to keep virtual communication simple and transparent. Use simple words, short sentences, and remember to practice open communication!
To quote Leonardo da Vinci, “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication”.
#2: Discipline and Flexibility are Both Okay!
“I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times.” — Everett Dirksen
If you are somebody that lacks self-tolerance and self-compassion like me, this quote should resonate with you.
I have always been a more disciplined person, living by my principles and goals.
Yet at the same time, I love the moments when I get to ‘let go’. I love to give freedom and space to both myself and the people around me.
I think this freedom creates a greater sense of flexibility. This slight shift in my mindset saved me from a catastrophic 2020 while I was working from home.
To achieve disciplined flexibility, just remind yourself of the following:
You are free to change your decisions, your goals, or the approach you may have initially chosen to achieve them. Just give yourself permission to change your mind when necessary.
Trust that fluctuating emotions do not equal a lack of discipline. They just mean that you are a human being.
If you skip your exercise routine for a day, that doesn’t mean you are undisciplined. Try to view these moments as ‘flexibility’ and don’t punish yourself for being imperfect.
Understand that external distractions can ruin your discipline. A phone call or a delivery person at the door can break the concentration of everything from your most vital projects to your daily yoga routine.
Extreme discipline can lead to ‘rigidity’ and extreme flexibility can lead to ‘inertia’. Remember that balance is key in everything you do..
Make choices consciously and intentionally. Just to emphasize these two words again — if you make choices ‘consciously and intentionally’, then you can be more flexible and free!
#3: You Can Be a Perfectionist and a Realist at the Same Time
“I am a recovering perfectionist and an aspiring ‘good-enoughist’” — Brene Brown
What do you feel when you hear the word ‘mediocre’?
Before the pandemic, it was a word I tried not to associate myself with.
And being a perfectionist myself, that was one of the biggest things I learned in 2020. To let myself be mediocre.
With these uncertain and challenging times, eventually I reached a point where practical solutions became ‘perfect’ for me in certain situations. In this way, being mediocre can sometimes be the best option. Let’s touch on why this is.
Admit that it is okay not to be your best self in that particular moment. Sometimes it’s more practical to allow yourself to be just ‘good-enough’.
Forgive yourself for moments where you may say something you shouldn’t have to a colleague over the phone. Acknowledge that communication while working from home is difficult and that you know you are not perfect. Apologize to them and move forward.
It is okay not to have the perfect New Year’s Eve celebration. If a simple spaghetti dinner and some wine make you happy that’s all you need.
Remember to look at the bigger picture. We are all rookies in this ‘new normal’ we’ve found ourselves in. Identify what your team is trying to achieve and what your partner is trying to offer you. Don’t focus on the small imperfections; rather, try seeing things in life holistically.